Life has been a little crazy (Hence the lack of usual weekly posts) But we are woking hard to get back on track. The biggest things that have happened since we were posting regularly:
One of the biggest things I have learned in the past year and a half of living in Haiti (Actually no, it's THE biggest thing I have learned) is that things are not always going to turn out the way you expect them to. Being here in Haiti you quickly learn that once a plan or idea is in place, there is probably a 75% chance that that plan or idea will change. You also learn that time is actually this funny little work that no one really pays attention to. Its a little hard to explain these phenomenons without having to experience them first hand, so just trust me on this.
Coming from a fast-paced, always somewhere to go, always somewhere to be, and always something to do culture, it was a little frustrating having to slow down a bit and become reaaallyyy flexible. But I am so glad that I finally did, because there is so much more God has been able to teach me, all because I stopped running around in circles.
This isn't what I signed up for!
It all kind of starts when we first moved down here. I wasn't given a job here on the base right away because I had Isaac, and there wasn't much I could do with a 4 month old. I thought that I would be ok with this, but I quickly realized that I wasn't, not really. I would get so frustrated and ended up feeling helpless and worthless. I argued with God, a lot. I told God "This isn't what I signed up for! I came here to be a missionary, not the wife of a missionary! Why can't you just put me somewhere useful instead of sitting around here all day long??"
I was actually doing the most important job of them all
What I had failed to realize is that I was actually doing the most important job of them all, taking care of and teaching my son. Here I am, complaining that I am not able to do "more important" jobs here on the base, and failing to recognize that I (along with Jay) are completely in charge of raising up this little boy to become a Godly man. I'm not going to spend much time on this thought, because I wrote a whole other post about it last February, but you should know that it was such a humbling thought, and one I will hold on to for the rest of my life.
So, if you have been following our family, you know now that after I made that realization, almost immediately God gave me a job. Its funny because the moment I said, "Ok God, I see what you are doing now, I will be content in my role as a mother." God said "Oh, thats awesome! I was waiting for you to say that, because I actually have a different idea now!" (See where that part of plans changing is coming into play?) I was given the job of Outreach Communications, which in short means that I am am the one that emails back and forth to teams who are wanting to come to YWAM Haiti for a missions trip.
Most of the time I felt like I was flailing
I will admit that most of last year I didn't do the greatest job. It was a juggling act to take care of Isaac, the house, and this communications job, but I made it through, if not by the skin of my teeth. (Such a weird phase when you think of it) It was a struggle to remember that Isaac was actually the most important of all of my jobs, and I will admit that I did not manage my time the best. Most of the time I felt like I was flailing, and that I was doing the bare minimum in everything. I even forgot about God and his role in all of this. BUT, I am so very glad that our God is a God of second chances, because with the new year, He gave me have a new plan of action.
Life seems.... peaceful
God's new plan: Doing the best that I can in every aspect, and to stop being apathetic in every day tasks. And its been going well! I have been able to prioritize my tasks easily. I have worked hard to make the system for Outreach Communications less stressful, much easier, and at a much higher quality. I don't feel stressed if I set time aside to just sit and play with Isaac. My house doesn't seem like a overwhelming disaster anymore. I have even had time to help staff one of the schools here on base! And all of this has been because I have been trusting in God and growing closer and closer in my relationship with Him. I have learned so many things by putting him first and letting Him just tell me what he has in store for the day. No, not everything is perfect. I still get stressed, I still get frustrated, but by continually lifting these things up to God and giving up control, life seems.... peaceful.
I feel like God thinks I am doing a good job so far, because he has given me a sneak peek a little into the future, and I think he is going to be sending another awesome challenge my way in November...