Life has been a little crazy (Hence the lack of usual weekly posts) But we are woking hard to get back on track. The biggest things that have happened since we were posting regularly:
One of the biggest things I have learned in the past year and a half of living in Haiti (Actually no, it's THE biggest thing I have learned) is that things are not always going to turn out the way you expect them to. Being here in Haiti you quickly learn that once a plan or idea is in place, there is probably a 75% chance that that plan or idea will change. You also learn that time is actually this funny little work that no one really pays attention to. Its a little hard to explain these phenomenons without having to experience them first hand, so just trust me on this.
Coming from a fast-paced, always somewhere to go, always somewhere to be, and always something to do culture, it was a little frustrating having to slow down a bit and become reaaallyyy flexible. But I am so glad that I finally did, because there is so much more God has been able to teach me, all because I stopped running around in circles.
This isn't what I signed up for!
It all kind of starts when we first moved down here. I wasn't given a job here on the base right away because I had Isaac, and there wasn't much I could do with a 4 month old. I thought that I would be ok with this, but I quickly realized that I wasn't, not really. I would get so frustrated and ended up feeling helpless and worthless. I argued with God, a lot. I told God "This isn't what I signed up for! I came here to be a missionary, not the wife of a missionary! Why can't you just put me somewhere useful instead of sitting around here all day long??"
I was actually doing the most important job of them all
What I had failed to realize is that I was actually doing the most important job of them all, taking care of and teaching my son. Here I am, complaining that I am not able to do "more important" jobs here on the base, and failing to recognize that I (along with Jay) are completely in charge of raising up this little boy to become a Godly man. I'm not going to spend much time on this thought, because I wrote a whole other post about it last February, but you should know that it was such a humbling thought, and one I will hold on to for the rest of my life.
So, if you have been following our family, you know now that after I made that realization, almost immediately God gave me a job. Its funny because the moment I said, "Ok God, I see what you are doing now, I will be content in my role as a mother." God said "Oh, thats awesome! I was waiting for you to say that, because I actually have a different idea now!" (See where that part of plans changing is coming into play?) I was given the job of Outreach Communications, which in short means that I am am the one that emails back and forth to teams who are wanting to come to YWAM Haiti for a missions trip.
Most of the time I felt like I was flailing
I will admit that most of last year I didn't do the greatest job. It was a juggling act to take care of Isaac, the house, and this communications job, but I made it through, if not by the skin of my teeth. (Such a weird phase when you think of it) It was a struggle to remember that Isaac was actually the most important of all of my jobs, and I will admit that I did not manage my time the best. Most of the time I felt like I was flailing, and that I was doing the bare minimum in everything. I even forgot about God and his role in all of this. BUT, I am so very glad that our God is a God of second chances, because with the new year, He gave me have a new plan of action.
Life seems.... peaceful
God's new plan: Doing the best that I can in every aspect, and to stop being apathetic in every day tasks. And its been going well! I have been able to prioritize my tasks easily. I have worked hard to make the system for Outreach Communications less stressful, much easier, and at a much higher quality. I don't feel stressed if I set time aside to just sit and play with Isaac. My house doesn't seem like a overwhelming disaster anymore. I have even had time to help staff one of the schools here on base! And all of this has been because I have been trusting in God and growing closer and closer in my relationship with Him. I have learned so many things by putting him first and letting Him just tell me what he has in store for the day. No, not everything is perfect. I still get stressed, I still get frustrated, but by continually lifting these things up to God and giving up control, life seems.... peaceful.
I feel like God thinks I am doing a good job so far, because he has given me a sneak peek a little into the future, and I think he is going to be sending another awesome challenge my way in November...
As I'm sure you are doing as well, we are taking time today to recognize the Moms in our life.
Two come to mind for us.
Of course, there are only two.
I call the one Madre and the other Mrs. Metz. (Although on Mother's day I may indulge here and call her Tammy. Just the once though.)
In all seriousness though, our work here in Haiti would not be possible if it wasn't for our Moms. They are the first ones we call for the hard days, the advice, the excitement, the craziness, and the help. They are always there to send us M&Ms, toilet paper, and other essentials for life in a foreign country. They are wonderful grandmothers and love to be involved in Isaac's and the new baby's lives, even though they are so far away. We love and appreciate you both, we couldn't do it without you.
Thank you Moms.
You're the best.